Mr McMahon Gets Bored
by ScarlettFever0193
Summary: What happens when Vince gets bored and uses his special mood rings to entertain himself with his superstars?
1. A Long Day In The Office

It was a long day in Vince McMahon's office. He should have been either signing important documents that would further enable him to control the world or coloring in his coloring book.

But Vince was bored with both.

So, he decided to have some fun with his superstars.

Vince took out his special set of special mood rings and called his precious daughter, Stephanie, in.

"Yes, Daddy?" she said sweetly as she entered. "Shane and I were concentrating on very important WWE stuff."

Actually, they were plotting to kill off Vince and Linda so that they could completely control the WWE.

"Steph, dear, I need you to think of ten WWE superstars that you hate.

Steph thought. Then, she told him the names.

Vince smiled and gave her ten mood rings.

"Here you go, sweetheart. Give these to those superstars and tell them that I'll fire them if they don't wear them."

Steph frowned. She didn't want to give her enemies gifts.

"Why?"

"Something'll happen to them. You'll see." Vince smirked.

Then, he laughed evilly and Steph joined him until he told her to get her rear in gear.


	2. Stupid Texans

General Manager of RAW, Eric Bischoff sat in _his _office. It was a very long day. The show had to be canceled after two stupid Texans tried to imitate Kane's entrance.

Stupid Texans.

In about an hour, they'd have to leave, so The Bisch decided to take a nap.

All of a sudden, a scrawny little blond kid in little overalls ran into his office, crying. He jumped onto Eric's lap and sobbed into his new $500 suit.

Eric was not good with kids. Angry Eric was even worse.

"What the hell do you think you're doing in here, you little worm?" he snarled.

The kid looked up at him with big sad blue eyes and choked out, "Edge is hitting me again!"

Eric was confused.

"Edge? Edge is a grown man! Why would he want to hit a little boy when he could plainly come to me and ask for someone to hit?" Eric demanded.

The boy scrunched up his face. "My brother's not that older than me!"

"Your brother..? No. No. No. Kid, what's your name?"

He sniffed and answered, "Christian."

Eric's jaw dropped.

"Okay, guys, funny joke! Vince, Teddy! Kid, who put you up to this?"

Christian stared up at Eric just as confused as he was. Who was Vince Teddy? What does 'put you up to this' mean?

"Okay. Well, do you know how old you are?"

Christian beamed proudly.

"I'm five and a half, sir!"

Eric took a deep breath. _This cannot be happening._

"Chris, do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"

Christian's face fell and he started to cry. It made Eric wish he didn't ask.

"Shh… don't be sad. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you. Come on; let's go find your brother." Eric told Christian as he picked him up and walked out of the door. As he did, he noticed that Christian had a strange mood ring on his index finger.

Back with Vince…

Vince chuckled evilly as he looked through his magic crystal ball. This was going to be a very interesting day.


	3. Two Tots Have Some Fun

As Eric walked with the child in his arms, he noticed people giving him strange looks. Finally, Shane McMahon came up to him.

"Yo, Eric, we're all wondering. Is that your kid?"

Eric panicked. How was he going to explain this one?

"Um, he's… uh… a friend of mine's. I'm taking care of him for her."

Shane laughed.

"Wow, man! That is so unlike you, Eric! One question. How's he going to get back to his mommy? We leave in one hour."

Christian started to cry again and Eric saw a perfect opportunity to get away.

"Aw… Shane, now look what you've done! He's upset and I'd better get him some water before he starts coughing." He scolded at Shane.

Shane got a guilty look on his face.

"Sorry, man…" he started as Eric scurried away.

"That was close." He murmured to the still crying Christian.

Just then, Eric spotted two kids probably about Christian's age throwing food at each other.

"Hey! What are you two doing here?" he demanded, putting Christian down.

The two kids looked at each other, then at Eric. They dropped their… objects tried to run away.

But years of chasing superstars down made Eric a very good runner.

He grabbed the two and scooped them in his arms. Then, Eric took a good look at them.

One had short blond hair and an innocent almost feminine face as he tried to squirm away. The other had a bald head and a mean face.

"Put us down, you sumbitch!" the bald kid demanded. "I'll get my daddy to open up a big can of whoop-ass on you!"

Only one man would curse like that even as a kid. Eric closed his eyes.

"Is your name Steve Austin?" he asked warily.

The other kid squinted at him.

"Hey, you assclown! How do you know Stevie's name?" he shrieked.

Only one man uses the expression 'assclown'.

"Chris Jericho?" he inquired.

Stevie was amazed.

"Whoa! Do ya think he's um, um… what's that word for dude's who can guess everything?"

"A mind-reader?" Christian asked walking over to them.

Jericho scowled.

"No, this little jackass probably told him!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, let's get the sumbitch!" Stevie yelled.

Christian retreated behind Eric's legs.

Eric felt bad for him. Bullied at such a young age could damage him forever. He slapped the two.

"Ow!" yelled Stevie.

"You're getting sued!" Jericho screamed.

"Shut up!" Eric exclaimed. "From now on, when you use that kind of language, you're getting slapped!"

The boys pouted.

Suddenly, there was a scream.

_What now?_ Eric thought.


	4. Eric Finds Two More

Eric hurried over to the source of the scream which just happened to be the girls's locker room. He gulped, but tapped on the door.

"Girls? Can I come in?"

There was some murmuring, but finally someone said, "Sure!"

Upon entering, Eric could not believe his eyes.

The entire roster of divas was fussing over a two little boys.

"Oh my God, they're so cute!" Maria squealed.

"Come over here, little guys!" Candice cooed.

"How old are you guys?" Torrie squealed, also.

Lita, Trish, and Victoria were not as um… let's say _thrilled_.

"Eric, what the hell are three babies doing in our room?" Trish demanded.

"First of all, they're toddlers. Second of all, I'm not sure." Eric responded.

One of the kids looked at Eric and laughed.

"Frosty!" he exclaimed. He had short brown hair and sparkling mischievous green eyes.

The other four laughed. Christian looked up at Eric as if he got it, but didn't think it was funny.

"Cena!" Eric snarled.

"Yo, how do you know my last name, Frosty-Top?" he demanded.

Suddenly, a light bulb flashed in Eric.

_I can get him and destroy him now!_ He thought.

So, acting on pure instinct, Eric lunged for the boy.

Lita and Trish pulled the two kids out of the way just in time.

"Geez, Eric, what's wrong with you?" Lita demanded, holding a child that had long thick dirty blond hair and sharp green eyes.

"Yeah, they're just kids!" Trish said, disgusted. She was holding John.

"You disgust me." Victoria sneered, shaking her head.

Eric sighed. He had to round up all of the kids and figure out what happened.

"Sorry girls. I'm just having a stressful day. These kids got loose and I have to round them up and find their parents." He was careful not to say 'mom' to set Christian off.

"Well… okay. You can have them. Bye-bye little guys." The divas fare welled.

Later…

Eric took the kids and set them in his office.

"Okay, names please, when I point to you." He explained. He pointed to Christian.

"Christian."

"Steve Austin."

"Chris Jericho."

"Edge."

Eric looked at them. Five. The girls had two. He had three.

"Cena!" he growled.

John had tried to slip out the door unnoticed. He grumbled as he sat back down.

Eric sighed and took a pill.

"What's wrong?" Edge asked while poking his little brother in the ribs.

"Nothing. I'm just stressed." He muttered.

"My daddy gets stressed sometimes. He takes 'aspin'." Steve announced happily.

"It's aspirin, you assclown." Jericho snapped.

Eric slapped him. This kid really had a mouth on him.

Jericho started to cry. He rubbed his eyes and Eric noticed a mood ring on him, also.

It made him wonder.

"Do you all have those rings?" he asked.

Four showed their fingers. One sat on his butt, crossed his arms, and wouldn't budge.

Eric drummed his fingers on his desk, rhythmatically.

"John, is there a reason you don't want to show me your finger?" he asked.

John smiled and said, "Of course I want to show you my finger, Uncle Eric." Then, he gave him a double bird.

Eric's face turned bright pink and the others laughed as John ran around proclaiming, "It's Johnny C. punk!"

"He's pink like a rabbit's nose!" Christian giggled.

"No he isn't dummy. They're called bunnies!" Edge corrected, rolling his eyes.

Christian looked down, a little sad.

Eric sighed and sat in his chair. When will this nightmare end?

Back to Vince…

Vince actually almost felt sorry for Eric. But then he remembered: Eric only had five superstars. That meant that someone had to have the others.

With a sadistic grin, Vince changed the crystal ball's atmosphere to represent the Smackdown! side…


	5. Teddy Entertains Five

Teddy rubbed his head. When Vince had offered him this job, he didn't mention wrestlers who transformed into little kids.

Standing in front of him was Chris Benoit, Batista, JBL, Rey Mysterio, and Eddie Guerrero.

Five years old.

"I'm bored." Batista whined.

Teddy sat at his desk, wondering what to do with five kids in his office.

"Well, why don't y'all just wrestle wit each other for awhile, young playas?" he asked.

Rey's eyes lit up.

"Si, si! ¡Amo luchar, el Tío Largo!" he exclaimed.

"He said he liked to wrestle." Eddie explained.

Teddy understood that Rey was at the tender age of just learning a language.

"Okay, well, I'll match ya up." Teddy paused, building up the dramatic intensity.

"It will be… Dave Batista and Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit vs John Bradshaw Layfield with special guest referee, Rey Mysterio!" he announced.

JBL counted his fingers.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "I don't have a-"

He was interrupted by Batista tackling him. Eddie and Chris ran up to help Batista and Rey took his job seriously by making the two go back.

Awwww.

As they wrestled, Teddy sat back and took a nap.

Later…

It had been two hours that Teddy was asleep. He woke up and panicked. The five were gone.

Author's Note: Sorry for taking so long and sorry this chapter was short!


	6. The Ten Meet

Teddy scurried around the arena nervously. He had to find those poor helpless pre- wrestlers. Where to look… where to look…

Meanwhile, on RAW…

Eric ran out of his office, trying to find _his_ kids.

"Guys! When I told you to go play in traffic, I didn't mean it! Come back!"

To Vince…

He laughed at his foolish, yet humorous GMs. To be on the safe side, he better find his top WWE superstars, though…

To THEM (sorry, all of this transitioning is really taking its toll on me)…

The RAW pre- superstars and Smackdown! pre-superstars stared each other down. Being toddlers, they had limited attention, so they didn't even notice all 10 mood rings glowing at once.

Finally, Benoit said, "Hi, Edge."

"Hi Chris", Edge answered.

"Hi, Edge." Jericho and Christian greeted.

"Not you idiots!"

"Hi, John." Cena said.

"Hi John." JBL replied.

"You guys hungry?" Batista asked, ending the awkward greeting.

The others nodded, so the 10 ran off to the snack table, unprepared for what happened next.


	7. Mrs McMahon

"Oh! They're so adorable!" Linda McMahon squealed to JR and Coach.

"Yes, Mrs. McMahon." They agreed. This might seem strange that JR agreed, but earlier while Shane was giving Coach his daily suck-up solution, JR happened to walk in. Because Stephanie had the mind-erase solution for the day, Shane had to inject JR with the suck-up solution also.

But that's another story. (Which I or some one else might elaborate on. Whoever does, give me my props)

_Anyway_, she picked Batista up without warning.

"Hey, there, little guy! What's your name?"

"Dave." Batista gasped, trying to get some air.

"How old are you?"

"F-five."

Linda gasped and dropped Batista, who immediately took a deep breath.

"Well, as cute as you are, I simply cannot have five- year- olds running through my building! Right gentlemen?"

"Right, Mrs. McMahon." They agreed in unison.

She snapped her fingers. "I know! I'll put you in the TV Room!"

Later…

Through the power of a McMahon, Linda had a cute little red plastic table put in the middle of the room, complete with chairs, coloring supplies, and cupcakes.

"Have fun!"

The 10 kids looked at each other and shrugged.

She may have been crazy, but she was a nice old lady.

They started to dig in on the cupcakes before Batista knocked them all down and made way for his friend, Eddie.

"Gee, thanks, homes!"

"No problem, amigo."

After they had their hearts content, Batista let the others through and in seconds, they were gone.

"So what you guys want to do now?" Steve asked.

"¡Permitanos etiqueta de juego!" Rey exclaimed.

Eddie thought for a while before saying, "I think he wants to play tag."

The others agreed, but were too stuffed by the cupcakes (Linda's secret SLEEPING cupcakes that she usually only fed Shane and Steph).

Christian yawned, took off his ring, and fell asleep. The others, except for Steve who watched some porn someone left in the TV, followed suit. Eventually, Steve fell asleep also.

And we had 10 glowing rings on the table.


	8. Unite

"Teddy."

"Playa, Eric."

The rival GMs stood face to face until Eric shook his head.

"Look, I don't have time for this. I've got to find my-" He stopped, realizing he said too much.

"…pre-superstars?" Teddy finished.

"How did you…?"

"Same problem. Dig this playa, I don't like you and you don't like me. But we gotta find those kids. Ya feel me?" He held out his hand.

Eric looked at it. He really didn't want to shake his head, but… it was for the greater good.

They shook hands.

"Now, where should we-"

"Oh boys!"

The two GMs turned to see Eric's interrupter was the one and only Linda McMahon.

"Boys, I found ten of the _cutest_ little munchkins, even cuter than Steph and Shane. They were too young to be wandering around alone, so I put them in the TV room. Would you be a dear and check on them?" she more ordered than asked.

Two huge grins broke out on their faces as they said, "Yes, Mrs. McMahon." And zoomed off.

Later… (alright, is anyone else getting tired of these clichéd transitions?)

They arrived at the door. Eric and Teddy heard voices in the room. They looked at each other.

Now or never.

"One…" Eric started.

"Two…" Teddy went along.

"THREE!" They shouted and opened the door.

(Ha ha! The ultimate cliffhanger!)


	9. The Sappy End

Jericho (back to normal) yawned and stretched. He looked around him, feeling very refreshed.

Then he saw it.

Batista, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Bradshaw, Edge, John Cena, Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Rey Mysterio were asleep tightly closed around him. And _Christian_ was on top of _him_.

Well, Y2J just could not sit and let this be.

"GET… THE… HELL OFF OF ME, YOU CREEPY LITTLE BASTARD!" He screamed.

Christian awoke with a start and jumped up.

"EVERYONE ELSE… JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"

The other superstars woke up too and certain ones were not very happy to have been woken up from nap time.

"JUST CALM YOUR LITTLE S.O.B SELF DOWN BEFORE OL' STONE COLD'LL HAVE TO STUN YA… AGAIN!" Steve yelled.

Jericho and Steve started arguing as Batista frantically searched for his title.

"HEY! Who has my title!" Batista looked over at Edge.

Edge just happened to be drooling all over the world title.

"Yes… you're mine! Finally mine!"

Batista ran over and snatched it away.

"EW! Freak germs!"

So Batista started beating Edge to a pulp. Meanwhile, Eddie and Rey were dealing with their problems.

"Please, Eddie! Don't tell!" Rey pleaded.

Eddie stood over him triumphantly about to tell the secret. Before he could, Rey tackled him.

So as those problems were being handled, John Cena was teasing Bradshaw with the belt and about to deliver the FU. While that was happening, Chris Benoit and Christian struggled to find something to argue about.

"THREE!"

Eric and Teddy crashed into the room. The superstars ignored them.

"Guys! You're okay!" Eric called relieved.

"Yes!" Teddy cheered.

To other places…

Someone was not happy. And that someone was Vincent Kennedy McMahon II. No sir. His employees were not allowed to be happy.

So, Vince stormed out of the room.

"SHUT UP, EVERYONE!"

GMs and superstars alike were quiet as they looked at the fuming boss in the doorway.

"GET BACK TO YOUR SIDES OR YOU'RE ALL FIRED!" He yelled.

With their heads down, all twelve people went back to their positions.

The next day…

Christian entered Eric's office.

"You wanted to see me, Bisch?"

Eric nodded and handed Christian a check.

Christian was confused. "What's this for?"

"For everything that I could've done." Eric said, giving him a pat on the back.

Christian smiled and walked off proudly, ready to display _his_ raise to the others.

The End?

Love,

JNHardy Be happy, be healthy 


End file.
